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Writer's pictureMichelle Louise

What to Expect in Counselling After a Narcissistically Abusive Relationship

If you’ve experienced a relationship with a narcissistic partner, stepping into counselling can feel both empowering and daunting. Many clients I work with are grappling with the confusion, self-doubt, and emotional scars left by narcissistic abuse. Counselling provides a safe space to untangle these complexities, reclaim your sense of self, and begin the healing process.


Recognising Patterns: The Role of Childhood Experiences


One of the first things we often explore in counselling is the pattern of relationships. Sadly, many individuals who find themselves in narcissistically abusive relationships grew up with a narcissistic parent. This early dynamic can create a subconscious “template” for love and connection, drawing people toward similar traits in adult relationships.


It’s not uncommon for clients to say, I never realised my relationship mirrored the one I had with my parent until now.” This recognition is a powerful first step toward breaking the cycle and redefining what healthy relationships look like.


What Anchor of Hope Counselling Offers


1. A Safe Space to Be Heard

Narcissistic relationships often silence and invalidate you. In therapy, your voice is valued. You’ll find a space where your experiences are acknowledged and validated without judgment.

2. Understanding the Dynamics of Abuse

Narcissistic abuse is often covert, leaving you questioning whether your experiences were as harmful as they felt. Counselling helps you identify and understand manipulation tactics like gaslighting, love-bombing, and devaluation. This awareness is crucial for recognising unhealthy patterns in the future.

3. Rebuilding Self-Worth

Narcissistic abuse erodes self-esteem. Many survivors feel unworthy or blame themselves for the relationship’s failures. Counselling focuses on rebuilding your self-worth, helping you reconnect with your intrinsic value and sense of identity.

4. Healing Childhood Wounds

If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, therapy will likely explore those early experiences. We’ll work on healing the inner child who learned to accommodate, please, or minimise themselves to maintain peace. This process helps shift deeply ingrained beliefs about your worth and what you deserve in relationships.

5. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Survivors of narcissistic abuse often struggle with boundaries, feeling guilty or fearful of saying “no.” Counselling equips you with tools to establish and maintain healthy boundaries, empowering you to protect your emotional and mental well-being.

6. Recognising Healthy Relationships

After narcissistic abuse, it can be challenging to trust others or know what a healthy relationship looks like. Therapy provides a framework for understanding mutual respect, emotional safety, and genuine connection, so you can build relationships that nurture rather than harm you.


The Journey Forward


Healing from narcissistic abuse is not linear, but it’s profoundly transformative. Through counselling, you’ll not only process the pain of past relationships but also develop the tools to create a future filled with healthy, supportive connections.


If you’ve been in a narcissistic relationship, know that recovery is possible. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Seeking counselling is a courageous step toward reclaiming your life and rediscovering your strength.


Written by Michelle Ramsay

Narcissistic Abuse Specialist


What to expect when seeking counselling if you've experienced Narcissistic Abuse





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