Working with Narcissistic Abuse as Someone Who Has Lived It

Anchor of Hope Counselling: Guiding You Through the Journey, Not Just the Destination

Why Lived Experience Matters in Narcissistic Abuse Therapy

When you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse firsthand, the scars run deep. For many survivors, the pain isn’t always visible — but it’s embedded in how they relate, trust, and even see themselves.

I’m not only a psychotherapist who specialises in narcissistic abuse — I’m also someone who grew up in it. Today, I lead a private group practice with two associate therapists. Together, we offer trauma-informed therapy for individuals recovering from narcissistic family dynamics, relationships, and systems.

But my journey didn’t start in the therapy room. It started in my own childhood home.

Growing Up with Narcissistic Parents: The Scapegoat Role

I was raised by two narcissistic parents. My mother is a covert narcissist — emotionally manipulative, controlling in subtle but powerful ways, and always appearing as the selfless victim to the outside world. My father, while less overt, enabled her behaviour and mirrored many of her narcissistic traits. In this toxic dynamic, I was cast as the scapegoat child — the child who could never get it right, the one to carry the family’s unspoken shame, anger, and dysfunction.

Living in that environment shaped me in ways I didn’t fully understand until much later. I was conditioned to doubt my reality, minimise my needs, and accept mistreatment as normal. Like many survivors, I thought if I could just be good enough, I might finally earn love, approval, or peace. That peace never came — not in that family system. The emotional toll of growing up in such an environment is often invisible to others — but deeply felt by those who’ve lived it.

Estrangement and the Journey to Healing

After years of confusion, hurt, and trying to repair what was never mine to fix, I made the difficult decision to become estranged from my narcissistic parents one year ago. It was not a choice made in haste. It came after years of therapy, self-reflection, and learning to prioritise my own well-being.

Estrangement from family can be deeply painful — and also incredibly liberating. For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, it’s the first true step toward peace.

I’m grieving. I’m healing. I’m rebuilding and , I’m using that lived experience to help others walk their own path out of the fog.

Becoming a Specialist in Narcissistic Abuse (Since 2017)

I began specialising in narcissistic abuse professionally in 2017. I knew then that I wanted to offer something I had rarely found in my own journey: true understanding. Not just academic insight or diagnostic labels — but attunement, empathy, and deep knowing.

Today, I lead a growing team of associate psychotherapists who share that mission. We offer trauma-informed, relational, and compassionate therapy for individuals who have been impacted by narcissistic abuse — in families, romantic relationships, workplaces, or communities.

Working in this field as a survivor means I understand what my clients go through — not just on paper, but in my bones. I understand the gaslighting, the guilt, the shame, and the exhaustion. I also understand the strength it takes to reclaim your identity and your life.

Why Working with a Therapist Who Understands Narcissistic Abuse Matters

Working with narcissistic abuse as a therapist who has lived through it comes with both great strength and deep responsibility. I know how validating it is to sit with someone who gets it — not just intellectually, but viscerally.

Narcissistic abuse is a unique kind of trauma. It’s insidious, confusing, and often goes unrecognised — even by professionals.

Therapists who haven’t experienced it themselves may unintentionally minimise it, miss the signs, or focus on surface-level issues. That’s why so many survivors feel unseen in therapy.

At our practice, we do things differently. It’s about creating safety, trust, and resonance. We believe your story. We help you untangle the manipulation. We don’t question your instincts — we help you rebuild them.

Final Thoughts: From Surviving to Leading

Today, I run a thriving group practice that supports survivors of narcissistic abuse every day. But my proudest accomplishment isn’t professional — it’s personal. I’ve broken the cycle. I’ve created a life filled with safety, authenticity, and freedom. And now, I get to support others in doing the same.

If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, know this:

You’re not alone. You’re not broken. And healing is possible.

Looking for Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse?

We offer online and in-person sessions for individuals who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Whether you’re early in your healing journey or well into recovery, we’re here to support you.

➡️ Contact us today to book a consultation or learn more about our services.

Written By Michelle Ramsay Lead Psychotherapist and Founder of Anchor of Hope Counselling.